Guilt

I feel guilty. I am not organising food banks or supplies for people during the Covid crisis. Am I reverting to type – my fundamentalist conversion during the tail-end of the Jesus movement overflow in Lancashire? Other churches seem to be doing so much – large ones like KXC starting up a brand new food bank, and smaller churches like Angel Baptist, and Notting Hill Community Church, feeding over 200 people every day with hot meals.

I have been active in social justice issues in the past – racism, immigration, refugees, unemployment, homelessness, all the highlights of urban ministry. But now it does not seem given to me by God – and all we can do is what we receive from him to do (Jn. 3.27). Our church at KCBC also does not have the community links which would make such a practical social ministry possible. 

Of course, we shouldn’t compare ourselves, or our churches, with others (Gal. 5.25-26; 6.4-5); that ways lies depression. We need to identify our spiritual gifts, and discern the ministry callings of our own congregation – and each will be different, according to the charisms given us. As Matthew Ashimolowo, founder of Kingsway International Christian Centre, once said: we must distinguish a ‘good idea’ from a ‘God idea’. Our mission partners in Peru, Dave and Michele Mahon, have also explained to us the danger, in their context, during Covid, of burn-out: if we go immediately into activistic overdrive, rather than sticking to our purpose before God.

I have never been an organiser, planner, or manager. Peter divided all spiritual gifts, broadly, into two kinds: speaking and (practical) serving (1 Pe. 4.10-11); I suppose I’d fit into the former – though there’s a danger there of being “all mouth and no trousers”! And also the risk of pride, the MOG syndrome;* when I’m really just a half-way decent jobbing preacher. And is this not a cop-out? Is not God’s priority for the poor (Ps. 10 & 33)?

In the longterm, as we exit lockdown, what can our little church do? The complete answer depends on government policy. Those higher up the ecclesiastical ladder, like Bishops, may have a voice, and be heard by the establishment, even in a pluralistic secular society. The welfare state itself owed much, during post-WW2 reconstruction, to the vision promoted by William Temple, Archbishop of Canterbury, in his book, Christianity and Social Order. We will have to serve in our small context among our own people. Although, as Francis Schaeffer said, there are “no little people, no little places”.

As we plan to reoccupy our building, however, we have to do a risk assessment – something else beyond my administrative abilities. One of our leaders commented, correctly, that I hadn’t included the fact BAME people suffer more from the virus in our plans. I crumpled, because I’ve always cared about racial justice. But thankfully, another leader responded and worked these points into our next iteration. Maybe there is something to be said for team leadership?

·         “Man of God” Syndrome